


trapdoor to the dungeon of sadness

by artsyspikedhair



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Ableism, Autism, Childhood Trauma, Heavy Angst, Lowercase, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:58:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair





	

she's twelve when she first hears the phrase. people change people, secret of life. 

it sends shivers down her spine, because the phrase sounds eerily similar to "I've changed, promise!" which was never a promise that could be kept. maya doesn't trust this lucas as far as she can throw him. there have been too many boys with blue eyes and winning smiles and anger down to their boots for her to ever believe a texas boy can change. 

but riley loves him, and maya loves riley, so she smiles and teases huckleberry until the fear in her throat closes up. she pushes riley towards the boy knowing it could be their downfall, because maya loves riley, and the real secret of life is that love hurts and friends do what is best for the other, even when all maya wants is to keep riles close, so she can always be her peaches. 

but what riley doesn't know is that there is a trapdoor inside of maya's brain. the door leads to the root of the fear, a teenage boy babysitter who took a seven year old maya and locked himself in with her, let himself into her. but maya never told riley because maya doesn't remember. she is standing on the trapdoor. 

"in the rowandan genocide, millions of woman, some just girls, were raped as their husbands were killed." maya is lying with her head on her desk, bored now that matthews decided to teach some history for once, but then riley, sweet innocent riley who would do anything for maya, raises her hand. 

"what does rape mean?" she asks, and dear god she's fifteen, she's fifteen and her mother never sat her down and explained like cory had thought. 

"it's when you're forced, sometimes violently, sometimes through coercion or unconsciousness, to have sex. children can't properly weigh the risks of having sex because they aren't done developing, so if an adult decides to have sex with a child it is always rape, regardless of if the child said they wanted it."

the trapdoor broke. maya is running and nobody follows her as she panics and remembers, locked in a bathroom stall. so much for "I'll always be there". maya is alone, and she has not been changed for the better. she should have known hope was for suckers. she should have known better.

the bell rings and maya is still crying. a girl walks in and hears her. maya prays that it isn't riley, because she just can't talk about this yet and riley always pushes. 

"hello? you okay?" it's smackle. maya can handle smackle, so she sobs something that might be a no. she had told the boy no,and he hadn't listened and why why why did this all have to come crashing down now? 

" you wanna talk about it?" smackle sounds so comforting that maya unlocks the stall. "I- you taught us about sex, and i- I think- fuck, were you in history today?" smackle shakes her head. "well, matthews was talking about the rowandan genocide, and he- he had explain to riley what rape was. and, and now these weird memories from my childhood are popping up, and and" maya stops. she's crying again. 

"maya, what you're experiencing, it's called having repressed memories. I've had this too." "really? were you r-ra- have you had sex unwillingly too?" 

"no. but as a child with autism, whenever I got overwhelmed, I would start screaming to make the noises stop, and I'd get restrained and sent into a room where Id be locked in for the rest of the schoolday. it was terrible, and this was before my academic skills were discovered. sometimes I'd end up pissing myself because they wouldn't let me out." 

"wow, that's awful. I-I'm so sorry, smackle." 

"as am I. just, you're not alone okay? I know I'm not the best socially, but I kind of know what's going on with you, and I wanna help."

"smackle you've already helped. thank you for trusting me. I still don't know what I want to do with this fucked up trauma of mine, but thank you. I'm going to need you in the future."

maybe people can change people for the better.


End file.
